Recap: Blues @ Sharks

Irbe's Pads   15 January 2017

What an FTF night boys! Enjoy watching your San Jose Sharks get fucked while Jake Sundystrom is dealing out stickers and shirts during intermission like that kid at your high school slanging crack outside the gym. Sharks lose 4-0 with an effort that rivals Dustin Brown trying to use a water bottle. The Blues goals were scored by I don't give a fuck. Here are some highlights:

• Joe Thornton tried to give Paul Stastny a surprise circumcision and got booked 5 minutes and a game miscounduct
• Martin Jones can't hug his post
• PDB decided to pull his goalie with six minutes left, like that was going to help. Good job PDB you balding fuck
• Did you know that Alexander Steen and Jori Lehtera were both struggling before this game? Did you know they both scored? Did you know that Ken Hitchcock smuggles ground beef and root beer into the arena? Did you know that Carter Hutton was playing like dogshit this season? Did you know that he got a shutout? Not enough booze and weed could make this game enjoyable. Don't worry guys, at least Jake got to hand out his fucking stickers.
• Fuck this team
• I don't know who number 15 is on STL and frankly I don't give a fuck, but I swear he totally sat on and raped Schlemko in the 2nd. Horny fucker

Some positives

• Thank god the Sharks didn't score, so those FTF towels with the autistic sealshark wern't waved around. Good job San Jose, really looking out for us
• The Sharks honoured the military tonight, and I apologize to the veterans who were in the stands who were not expecting the thrashing that they saw tonight. Thank you for your service.
• Ken Hitchcock is still a fat fuck

Highlights of this game should be up on pornhub later tonight.