Sharks @ Bruins Preview

Chardougla   26 October 2017

So there’s this forest right? And this forest just had a huge snowstorm, so there’s a bunch of snow on the ground. Like, a lot of snow. I’m not talking about, you need those boots your mom made you bring to school lot of snow. No, I’m talking so much snow it’s halfway up the tree snow. Now you may be saying, that’s ridiculous, there’s no way it could snow that much. Shut up, no one asked you. Anyways, there’s this shark swimming through the snow, because, ya know, snow is water. Now, you may also be asking, but wouldn’t the shark freeze to death because it’s too cold? Who keeps letting this guy speak? I’m trying to tell a story here. Jeez. Anyways, the shark is swimming through the snow, and he’s trying to find some actual water to swim in, because all this snow is going to eventually going to melt, and then the shark will die. So he’s swimming around, and he eventually finds this cave, and in this cave, he can see there’s a big pool there that would be perfect. The only problem is there’s a big stretch of actual rock in between the snow and the water. Now the shark is perplexed here, and he’s trying to think of a solution when he sees it. There’s a bruin, sleeping in the cave by the water. He can carry the shark to the water, and the shark will be safe.

“Psst,” the shark killed. “Hey bruin.”

The bruin stirred, awaking from his hibernation in quite a bad mood.

“Oy!” he roared. “Who the fack woke me up from my hibahnation?!?!”

“Sorry bruin dude,” the shark apologized, “I was just wondering if you could carry me to the water so I don’t die.”

“Oh ya do, do you?” the bruin wondered peevishly. “Well it just so happens I am the guahdian of this watah, so no can do, mistah shahk.”

The shark sighed. Why did it have to be like this? “Well I need to get to the water or I’ll die, so I’m going to have to kill you. Don’t try to fight, my record in these fights is better than yours, plus my Corsi fighting stats are better.”

“Well see here, mistah shahk. You may have the fancy shmancy staty things, but you see, I’m not the nohmal bruin in chahge. I’m the backup Bruin!”

And the shark was worried, for this changed things. If he was to defeat the backup bruin, he would need some luck. So he gathered himself, yelled, “oo look, a Hab!” Then, when the bruin was distracted, the shark launched himself from the snow, ripped out the bruin’s neck, and used the ensuing momentum and blood flow to slide into the safety of the water. As he happily swam away, he felt a rumble throughout the water, as if there was a stampede nearby….

Anyways. GO SHARKS!!!!